Out of Office: Ten Things to do 7/29 -8/11

Spend an evening at the Morrison Inn’s rooftop patio

I’d wager a fair amount of people are familiar with the town of Morrison because it’s the home of Red Rocks, but it’s actually a great little town on its own merit (and I do mean little, since they place is basically one long main street).

For my money, the best way to enjoy the town is on a summer evening, sitting on the rooftop patio of the Morrison Inn, 301 Bear Creek Ave. The historic restaurant offers familiar Mexican fare, including some kick-ass salsa, but the location is what really sells the place. You get a small-town feeling while being surrounded by trees and the famous red rocks. It’s not summer until you stop by.

Check the inn out here.


Two-Fisted Mario’s Pizza

Let’s be honest: you’re a little too drunk to even find the light rail right now. Matter of fact, you have been telling out-of-towners all night that you’re pretty sure the new hyper tube to the Springs just opened, but you cant find the terminal.

After getting thrown out of the bar for being a belligerent asshole to out-of-towners, you start to stumble along , being sure to avoid getting mugged on the 16th Street Mall walk, and its midnight on a Saturday. Your friends stayed at the bar, and may or may not post your bail tomorrow.

Joke’s on them! You have an ace in the hole.

Nestled in between 16th and 17th street on Larimer sits Two Fisted Mario’s Pizza, a stalwart of the Denver late-nite scene. Situated in the epicenter of all the bars, venues, and transportation, this greasy pizza joint never disappoints. They have a selection of thin and Neapolitan crusts, and every topping known to man. Their benches are not very comfortable, but cheaper than a chiropractor. Lucky patrons will bet to dine at the old Donkey Kong table top game

This place will cure the hangover before the hangover, and is a safe place to get to. There is a nice, green rail along the sidewalk, preventing the fateful plunge into traffic. In the morning your friends expect to find you dead, but you’re ready for a light brunch! Yay!

Two Fisted Marios Website


Fire Emblem: Three Houses for Nintendo Switch

I know I’m late to the party on this one as this game dropped on July 26, but I have no worries that it will take you WEEKS AND MONTHS OF AGONY and hatred from your family members and a serious disregard for your physical and mental health to have even a small chance of playing through it. 

This is the latest on a long running exclusive series from Nintendo, and it does not disappoint. Early reviews from some of the bigger names have been unreal, as seen below

Three Houses Review
Kotaku Review

Go pick up a copy today, and probably buy eye drops. This over-top turn based strategy game will need your full attention.


The necessary horror of the Democratic Debates

Look, I know, this fucking sucks. With every election cycle I live through, I’m more and more certain the country should take up the UK campaign process, which lasts right around five weeks. Instead we’re in this never-ending shit cyclone that is the 2020 presidential campaign.

But since the only way out is through, and because we need an electorate that actually fucking knows what they’re voting about, watch the two democrat debates at 8 p.m. on Tuesday, July 30 and Wednesday, July 31. They’ll be on CNN, CNN International, and CNN Español and be streamed on CNN.com.

Even if you’re like me and you’d vote for an inanimate object before voting for Donald Fucking Trump, turn the things on and do something else, so at least they get the viewership numbers. Because there’s few lings more American than doing whatever you can to annoy the hate-monger-in-chief.


My Morning Jacket at Red Rocks

My Morning Jacket are one of those bands that its easy to take for granted, especially in recent years as the band has grown relatively quiet (though lead singer and keeper of one of contemporary rock’s best voices, Jim James, has cranked out a steady stream of solo albums). Their last album was 2015’s Waterfall, which was another remarkably solid addition to their discography. And while I haven’t heard any rumblings of them releasing new material (minus an expanded 20th anniversary edition of their album, Tennessee Fire), they are playing two nights at Red Rocks, and that’s not nothing.

I’ve seen the Kentucky-based band live several times in different venues, but they fill up the cavernous amphitheater with a muscular majesty that few other bands can match. In other words, don’t fucking miss them.

Get tickets for their performances at 7:30 p.m. on Friday and Saturday, Aug. 2 and 3 at www.redrocksonline.com.


Lake Street Dive at Mishawaka Amphitheater

It doesn’t matter how far out from its heyday we get, I will never not be a sucker for the sounds of old jazz, doo wop and early pop music. So you can imagine how enchanted I was at the annual FMQB Triple A Conference a few years ago when I was treated to a performance by Boston’s Lake Street Dive.

On and in the years since their breakthrough 2014 album, Bad Self Portrait, the group (fronted by the wondrous Rachael Price) have perfected a delightful blend of the aforementioned genres, as well as soul and rock. This amalgamation creates a sound that is both contemporary and timeless.They’re going to sound really, really fucking great at the Mishawaka Amphitheater, 13714 Poudre Canyon Highway in Bellvue.

They’ll be playing at 6 p.m. on Sunday, Aug. 4. Buy tickets at www.mishawaka.ticketforce.com.


Go to Oxford with ‘Tolkien’ at home

Movies about writers are tricky things – there’s only so many ways you can make a story compelling about a person who at some point in the film is going to sit still for extended periods of time in front of a blank page.

So while its pace and subject might not be for everyone, I thoroughly enjoyed Dome Karukoski’s Tolkien, which is available digitally and physically on Aug 6.

Nicholas Hoult and Lily Collins are well-cast as future spouses J.R.R. Tolkien and Edith Bratt as they grow up and find their footing in Oxford in the lead up to the first world war. The movie might be a little on the nose when it comes to making the connection between the events and the impacts on Tolkien’s writing, but so it goes.

As an avid Anglophile and passionate Tolkien nerd, I was more or less created to enjoy this movie, but I think there are moments of beauty that can strike any viewer. Check it out.


Billy Joel at Coors Field

I looked this up and I cant believe tickets are still on sale. Billy Joel at Coors Field, 2001 Blake St. in Denver, is probably going to be one of those shows that you can bring up at dinner with anyone and they will say, “Dang, those kids are hip, trustworthy, and just good ol’ American lads and lasses.”

I truly hope that everyone locks arms for a rousing rendition of “Piano Man.” If he doesn’t play it at the show at 8 p.m. on Thursday, Aug. 8, I hope he takes a concert turkey leg to the head.

Tickets here.


Nike Kyrie Irving Spongebob Edition Shoes

As a self-professed Hype Monster, I cant believe I am telling people about these in mortal fear of not scoring a size. Seeing this announcement caused me to mass-spam my wife and Shoe Sherpa’s phones (More on this soon).

Nike, in partnership with Nickelodeon this week unveiled their new line of Spongebob Squarepants shoes. There are 5 characters available: Patrick Starfish, Sandy Cheeks, Squidward, Mr. Krab, and Spongebob himself 

(Note from Matthew to Nike. If you would have made a Gary the Snail pair that looked like the Marty McFly editions, I would have sold my car for them.

You can find these limited edition kicks at some of your favorite high-end show retailers. I will be waiting in line for them on Saturday, Aug. 10, and this will be my first-ever shoe drop. If you are in line in front of me, please switch me spots as a courtesy for letting you know.

Get a peek at these warlocks at https://sneakernews.com/2019/07/22/spongebob-nike-kyrie-shoes/.


Red Rocks Community College Admissions Still Open!

Oh, bollocks. You spent all your time and money this summer at Two-Fisted Mario’s Pizza in your Spongebob Nikes, listening to Billy Joel and playing Fire Emblem on your switch. We’ve all been there, partner. However, you were supposed to register for some fancy school your folks went to back east, forgot, and are now banished from the family. This could be hard to explain to your mom.

Queue up Red Rocks Community College! They have a massive catalog of classes that can help get your gen ed requirements out of the way while you get your life back together. If you’re looking for a vocational style education, they have you covered there as well with many different options for non-degree seeking students. Additionally, they have multiple campuses located just off of light rail stations, making it easy to get to and fro (pro tip: the Lakewood campus is about an hour and 15 minutes from Keystone ski area. Sleep in your car after night school up there and get first tracks bro! You’re going places!)

Fall registration runs all the way up to the beginning of the fall semester on Aug. 19.

You can learn more here:  https://www.rrcc.edu/admissions


P.S. My birthday is July 29, and I would argue a thing to do would be to give me a virtual high five! 33 years, death creeps ever-so-closer. 

Dramatic reenactment of my birthday conversations


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